Pins and Needles
by Jk33
Summary: One does what one does best. And for Kanji Tatsumi, that's sewing. The fact that it helps him pick up chicks is purely coincidental. KanjiNaoto
1. Chapter 1

Seems like it's been forever since I posted something here, which is pretty much the case. College blows like that. One has to wonder why someone who's shooting for a biology major has to sit through some crappy world history class... stupid GenEd courses.

So anyways, I've catered to my whims and bought Persona 4, and I've decided that Kanji and Naoto are my favorite characters. Just so happens that they also have a fair amount of relationship potential, which makes writting stuff about them a lot easier to do. Plus, the vast bulk of fics here that star Naoto have her with another woman, which is hot and all, but it kinda leaves those of us who want some good old fashioned heterosexual love dangling in the wind. Kanji's in essentially the same boat, and I figure someone will bring this up so allow me to hammer it out of the way now: I don't think Kanji is gay. He admits it's not a matter of sexes, but fear at not being accepted, and since women seem to have been the ones who express the most negativity about his passions, it seems only right that he would develop harsh association with them, and in turn fear them. But I digress.

The idea for this story came kinda from nowhere. I'm stuck in the great cold of Chicago winters, and while shoveling the driveway my hat got blown off and went down the storm drain. Which really blows.

Anyway, I'm rambling, so go ahead and read. Just remember, all characters and/or locations and/or terms related to this game are the property of Atlus. There may be minor flaws in characterature and all, I tried to minimalize it, but every writter is wont to inject a bit of their own dynamix into their work. Enjoy. Or don't. But please do.

* * *

If there were any single trait that Kanji Tatsumi could attribute to himself without sounding like he was exhibiting excessive hubris, it would be this: eye for detail. It came with the turf, or so the expression says. Being the progeny of a family that owned a historic textile shop, it was genetically decided that he should be blessed with the eye for detail that allowed him to spot that _single_ polka dot that was off the pattern of the rest. No single stray thread escaped the processing of his refined ocular senses, and no off-kilter placement of anything managed to befuddle him.

_So how the hell didn't I see that thing coming!_ He roared in his mind as he brought his heavy shield down to crack open the skull of the offending Shadow before him. The monstrosity, which was shaped as a man and woman with a heart for a collective head and brandishing a rapier, crumpled in under the force and exploded in a heap of shadow that hovered between liquid and gaseous.

Earlier, in what Kanji figured might have been a heat-induced psychosis, Souji had called the group to the Junes food court and rather intensely informed the group that they were going back to the Secret Laboratory to get in some much needed training. Kanji had snickered quietly, figuring Souji was just embarrassed at having look a fool in front of his comrades getting the metaphorical shit kicked out of him by a mechanical Naoto.

And so, after scouring the halls of the damp eerie place of the Shadows, the group decided to call it a day and head back. Unfortunately, they had missed a single Shadow that laid low and passed by Rise's radar. The warning had come from none other than Teddie, as anticlimactic as it was, in the form a simple "Duck, Nao-chan!"

Naoto, who had been half-immersed in the task of using a pipe cleaner to scrub off gunpowder left in her revolver, had stumbled before she threw her body to the ground in alarm. In an unfortunate turn of physics, her hat managed to pop off her head, where it met the business end of the Shadow's rapier. Had it not been for the extra quarter second Kanji took to convince himself of his ally's well being, he would have missed almost unnoticeable gleam of melancholy that passed over her eyes. The Shadow, aggravated at having missed its target, gave a flick of its wrists and cast the article off to the side, where the material thumped inaudibly against the wall before falling between the metal platform and the wall and into the blinding green light below.

After dispatching the enemy the team glanced at Naoto, who was on her hands and knees looking down the metallic mesh into the emerald haze, trying to discern any darker spot that might be her beloved hat. Yosuke looked down for a minute before he crouched down to her level and patted her on the back and said, "Sorry, Naoto-kun. But I don't think we'll be able to get down there."

Naoto shook her head; cobalt locks swaying free from their usual confines, "Do not concern yourself," she said, "It was merely an article of clothing, and can be easily replaced."

_Bullshit_ Kanji thought, and he was half ready to call her out on it. The look in her eyes, steely as usual though it was, betrayed a sense of unusual sadness. And when the group had seemed to accept that the issue was a mere trifle and passed her by, he could swear with stunning alacrity that an almost unperceivable film of tears had washed over her eyes, and her breath was silently shuddering. _Easily replaced my ass, that hat meant something to her but she's too stubborn to say it._

Of the group's various idiosyncrasies, he had noticed that amongst Naoto's was a definite fear of being considered a "burden". Kanji knew with all the brains he had (which despite what anyone may say about him he had plenty were it counted) that if she had pursued the hat, the whole group would have been behind her in an instant. _Women are weird like that_ he decided.

As the group stopped at the entrance to the Lab, taking the reprieve to cast a few much-needed Diaramas, Kanji kept his eyes on Naoto, hoping to catch and inkling of what she was thinking. It was at this particular time that Yosuke seemed to find it prevalent to appear at Kanji's side. Funny thing about Yosuke was that if he wanted to be annoying, he accomplished it with a surplus of aggravation that could last for days.

Yosuke nudge his stomach, teasing grin in place, "So, have you decided if Naoto fits into your kink yet? If you just sit here staring she'll probably just get creeped out."

Kanji slowly turned to face his comrade, who still held that damned smile on his face, "Hey senpai, do you know what my shoe size is?"

Yosuke blinked in surprise, grin falling from his face, "Uh… no. What is it?"

"Thirty-five centimeters," Kanji informed proudly.

Yosuke's confusion was even more elevated, "Why did you ask?"

Kanji scowled, "So that you know just how much of my foot is about to get relocated up your ass if you don't get the hell outta my face." Yosuke's face twitched into a half-grin of terror before he scuttled away fast as he could.

"Okay guys," Yosuke called, his voice about four octaves higher than usual, "Let's go home, I need a bath," he turned and mumbled, just loud enough that Kanji could hear him, "and some fresh underwear."

Kanji gave a smirk of satisfaction, reaching down to grab his shield from its resting place, when he caught a glance of Naoto in the corner of his vision. She stood, hand on her cocked hip in her usual fashion, gazing at the Lab before she sighed and followed the rest of the team to the entrance hall. Kanji silently nodded to himself before he passed his hand over the shield and left his weapon lying against the small hill of dirt before he too followed the group.

At the entrance, in front of the triple-stacked TVs that would deliver them to the Junes Electronics Department, Kanji seized the opportunity to groan loud enough to bring all eyes to him. Chie jumped slightly in panic, "What? Don't freak me out like that!"

Yukiko shook her head at her shorthaired friend, "Is something the matter Kanji-kun?"

Kanji raised his empty hands, "I thought the walk back seemed a little light."

Rise giggled in her usual manner, "A little scatterbrained there, Kanji?"

Very convincingly, Kanji managed to both blush and scowl, calling for the idol to shut her mouth. _I can sew and act? Damn I'm good._

Souji shook his head with a faint smirk, "Need someone to go with you?"

Kanji replied, "Nah, I'm fine senpai. Go on home, I'll be back out soon."

Souji nodded and stuck his head into the bottom TV, searching for passersby. Kanji faintly wondered what someone would think if they were observing the TV when suddenly an expressionless gray-haired high school student's head popped out of the screen.

The leader pulled his head back in, nodded to the group before turning to Kanji, "Be careful." And with that parting statement he wormed into the TV and disappeared.

Rise took a moment to pipe up, "I don't sense any Shadows there, but they'll probably be coming back soon. Please try not to get killed Kanji-kun. I rather enjoy there being at least one person who does worse than me on exams." He responded by showing her the scratch on the nail of his middle finger. Naoto was the last to exit, and it appeared she would be doing so without recognizing him, when she turned to regard him with cool gray eyes, nodding her head before stepping out.

And so Kanji was left in the silent yellow-tinted world. He suddenly released a breath he was unaware he had held, before his eyes widen slightly and he pivoted on the spot, scratching his pale hair before voicing aloud to his nonexistent audience, "The great and badass Kanji Tatsumi, getting worked up 'cause of the boyish Naoto Shirogane?" He shook his head, "I'd never live this down."

Walking towards the Lab again, his mind wandered as to the reasons for him doing this. Had Yukiko lost her hair band, he doubted he would have been quite so eager to fetch it for her. If Yosuke's earphones were gone, he would have been more likely to go hit up Aiya's and take another crack at the Quintuple-Sized-Mega-Beef-Bowl Challenge. If Chie had lost her "Trial of the Dragon" DVD, he would have… he probably would have helped her, because she probably would have flipped if he told her to get bent, and Yosuke had informed him all too graphically of Chie's preferred method of punishment.

So why go through all this for her? He had to admit; Naoto and he had not really bonded too much in any sort of friendly, hell, even a casual sense. So why then was he doing all this? _Forget it, I'm already here; I'll just have to see this to the end._

At the entrance, Kanji grabbed his shield and continued into the lab without ever breaking stride. Traipsing through the labyrinth of corridors that constructed the edifice born of Naoto's childish chimera, Kanji came across the room were the Shadow had tossed Naoto's hat under the raised floor. _I'm glad to see Rise's scan held up. It would've sucked big time to have to fight a bunch of Shadows alone._

He finally came to the space where the hat had fallen, and determined that the gap between the wall and the guardrail was wide enough that if squished himself against the wall he could squirm through it. He dropped his shield through the gap first to test the height, and to see if there was anything down there. The shield clattered to the ground loudly, and the lack of the sound of scurrying monsters denoted that it was clear. _Can't be too far down. Ten or fifteen feet at best._

And so Kanji lowered himself through the gap, slowly and carefully. Unfortunately he stumbled slightly and lost his grip, banging his chin against the bottom of the rail and falling down the whole length of the drop, coming to an unceremonious halt flat on his hindquarters. _Shit, I think I landed on my tailbone._ Rubbing the area of discomfort he opened his eyes before being momentarily blinded by the brightness. A quick moment of disorientation followed, and his eyes adjusted to the point were he could see enough to begin his search.

He found the hat not too far from him, but could not take note of its status with the obtrusive light. As he walked back to the wall, another problem entered. _How the friggin' hell am I gonna get back up… shit!_ Kanji paced furiously for a second before the tiny light bulb of ingenuity popped up. Kanji summoned a small, glowing blue card before raising his shield and smashing the card. "Come on Take-Mikazuchi!"

The massive persona appeared before him, and lowered his hand to make a platform for Kanji to stand on. The persona then lifted Kanji to the space where he threw his shield and Naoto's hat over to the top, then clambered back up the rail as his persona faded back into his mind.

Kanji made a quick dash back to the entrance to the Lab, feeling the foreboding presence that heralded the soon arrival of a fresh batch of Shadows. He sat in the dirt outside, leaning against the small metal box that led down, catching his breath as he surveyed the damage done to Naoto's prized possession. The damage was not insignificant, but neither was it outside of Kanji limits. The flicking motion that had cast it from the Shadow's blade had torn out one side of the cap, leaving it half attached to the brim. He would probably have to remove the whole top and repair it before stitching it back onto the brim, but it was certainly doable.

As Kanji stood, he noticed something pliable and reflective tucked into the hat. Even though he was not the type to snoop, he could not restrain himself from plucking the object in question out to examine it. With the light now hitting it in such a way as to not case a glow over it, the object appeared to be a photograph.

There were three occupants immortalized on the small image, standing against a sunny background. The tallest was a man of roughly thirty years, with cobalt blue hair and a silver badge pinned to the breast of his navy blue pea coat. Standing next to him was a short woman, with a slightly boyish face and androgynous body, her gray eyes bright as she smiled widely, a cadet's hat perched on her head. Between them was a small child, hardly out of five years old, bearing the man's locks and the woman's eyes; her small hands up above her shoulders holding a second cadet's hat that was so large it nearly fell over her whole forehead and covered the gleaming orbs that were accentuated by a childish grin so wide Kanji was surprised her face did not split in half. Kanji was struck with realization; _this is Naoto, and her parents. This is her father's hat. So that's why…_

And then, as he sat absorbing the radiating familial love that lay forever inscribed upon the object in his hand, he knew why he had done it. Despite the distinct lack of casual words, Naoto was his friend in the truest of regards. He remembered how, after bashing an opponent to the ground, he sprinted off in her direction were she sat, struck hard and disoriented, and offered his hand to her. And she had raised her hand, small and soft, to grasp his, large and rough, and he pulled her back upright, his reward coming in the form of a nod of gratitude. And remembered her admonishing him for his foolishness, voice laced with concern, inflection stinging yet healing like the antibiotic gel she had chucked in his direction after he received a particularly painful bullet wound from a Shadow mimicking an obese cop. The friendship was always there, it just needed and icebreaker to develop into something more, and the window of opportunity stood before him, wide open and waiting for him to climb through.

Kanji clenched his jaw, his resolve amplified by his newfound understanding. He gently placed the photograph back into the hat and hefted himself back to his feet, making for the exit. The three TVs remained standing tall when he arrive, and he experimentally poked his head through to see if the coast was clear only to come face to face with a Junes employee who started slightly, "Damn, I was told this thing had great resolution but this is just too much."

Kanji thrust his fist out and knocked out the employee before pulling the rest of his body out. He dragged the comatose body behind the TV before grabbing his shield, which he wrapped in a jacket to disguise it, and left, whistling nonchalantly.

By the time he arrived home it was nearly three in the morning, and being Sunday he knew he would have to start fixing Naoto's hat right away if he wanted to be done by the next school day. He tossed the shield under his bed and placed the cap down on his worktable, retrieving a sewing kit from one of his shelves and grabbing a spool of thread and that same blue fabric that constructed the hat. He laid out his tools in locations that made them easily obtainable on a moment's notice.

And so he began his task, gently using a hooked instrument to pry the old thread up before he gently broke the threads and pulled them out. He then placed a section of the blue fabric against the outside edge were he sheared it down to make a ring of cloth to give the hat a new place to be stitched to the brim. After setting thimbles upon his fingers he used his sewing machine to bind the ring of cloth to the main body of the hat.

After he was content with the job, which took two additional repeats, he threaded his needle and began to hand sew the cap back to the brim. In his desire for absolute perfection, he redid his stitches not once, nor twice, nor even thrice, but a full seven times. Finally confident that he had done well, he examined his work.

The hat had been painstakingly returned to its former state, the only indicator that it was ever repaired being a slight area where the blue ring of cloth was slightly lighter than the rest of the hat. But, were it sitting upon Naoto's head, in it's rightful place, none would ever know. Kanji smiled in satisfaction, only to have his reprieve broken with the knowledge that it was now noon, and he would have to help at the shop today. _No rest for the weary, I guess._ And he set about his day of unending labor at the command of the matriarchal tyrant who birthed him. And so, when Kanji stumbled into this room, staggering in the full archetype of a weary traveler, he could only sleep on as he clutched Naoto's hat to his chest.

Morning had not been kind to him, and he awoke promptly when his mother decided to drop his book bag onto his stomach while he was still sleeping, forcing him to get up and get ready. By the time he was downstairs, his mother has shoved an oversized boxed lunch into his arms saying, "A growing boy needs plenty of food."

Kanji groaned, "Yeah, alright Mom."

His mother continued, "Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Comb your hair?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Will you say hi to Yukiko-san for me?"

Kanji growled slightly, "Yes, Mom," and began walking out the door.

She called to him, "Oh, and Kanji-kun?"

Kanji's eye twitched, "Yes, Mom?"

She smiled maternally, "Have a wonderful day."

Kanji slammed the door closed and took a moment to growl at a happily chirping bird, "Shut up, you feathered prick!"

The school morning had passed in the same dull monotony that it always had, and soon lunchtime was upon him. Kanji stared at the insane amount of food he had been packed. Compared to his classmates, his lunchbox appeared as though it were a crate. _I can't eat all this…_

Kanji stepped out of the classroom to eat on the roof, when he noticed Naoto, standing in the hallway, head devoid of covering. To Kanji, she appeared astoundingly naked; but after the image of an unclothed Naoto sprang into his mind, he decided it would be best to avoid that train of thought, lest he be tempted to ask if her legs were as smooth as he conjured them to be.

Kanji swallowed before stepping up, "Yo, Naoto. Don't got any lunch?"

Naoto sprung from whatever distraction she was occupying herself with, and turned to him, "Oh, Kanji-kun, you startled me. I'm afraid I woke up a bit late today, and lacked the time to prepare myself a lunch. Please, do not worry, I'll manage."

Kanji scoffed, "You? Not on schedule? The earth aint gonna implode or nothing is it?"

She shook her head, "I've been feeling a little off lately." _No doubt due to the loss of her beloved hat._

Kanji shrugged, "Come eat with me, I'll share."

Naoto started, "Oh, no I couldn't impose my company on you. You need your food, you're a lot bigger than I am."

He scoffed again, "Impose your company on me? Where'd you get that stupid notion?" He lifted the massive box of food, "A whale couldn't get half of this down, and I don't think you and I will get too far into it either."

Naoto stammered, "But I—" Kanji lifted an eyebrow at her, "Very well, I will accept your offer. Thank you Kanji-kun.

Kanji grinned slightly _I'm glad I'm not being the way I usually am around her. Stammering and shaking and blushing like a schoolboy with a crush… but then again, isn't that what I am? Bah._

So it was that Kanji Tatsumi found himself sitting on the roof with Naoto Shirogane, eating from a trough of food. Much like Kanji had expected, Naoto's eating manners were impeccable, taking only as much food as she could fit onto the chopsticks, holding a handkerchief under the globule of food to catch anything that fell astray, chewing with mouth closed in a slight unobtrusive motion, swallowing completely before putting more food in her mouth. It was something Kanji considered he should emulate. His stomach growled, doubly hungry from lack of food and lack of sleep; _screw that_ he thought as he shoveled the food down his gullet.

Before long, Naoto had set her chopsticks down and reclined gently, Kanji was tempted to laugh when her face turned pink after she placed a hand to her mouth to cover a slight burp, but he was too busy powering through the gigantic lunchbox to soothe his roaring stomach. Finally he kicked the empty lunchbox away before reclining against the wall in contentment.

Naoto smiled faintly, "A whale couldn't get half of it down you said?"

Kanji retorted, "Don't judge." Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Naoto fidgeting with her hair, obviously perturbed by the lack of garment. Kanji sighed, "You liked that hat, huh?"

Naoto jumped slightly, "Ah! Um… yes I suppose you could say that." Her reply was full of stammers and odd pauses, she had clearly been caught off guard, and the dusting of pink on her cheekbones made it all the more adorable to Kanji.

Kanji smiled and chuckled softly, standing up and reaching for his book bag, "Stand up and close your eyes," he said.

Naoto queried, "Huh?"

Kanji repeated, "Stand up and close your eyes." Naoto appeared confused, but complied. Fishing the fruit of his labor out of the bag, he set the hat back upon her head, convinced that no other hat would have achieved what that simple one had.

Naoto open her eyes in surprise before looking up at Kanji, and then at the brim of the hat that shaded her eyes, she pulled it off to examine the article, turning it up to look inside the cap, eyes widening at the photo that remained tucked in there, she turned back to Kanji, eyes slightly watery and quivering, when she suddenly dropped the hat and flung her arms around his midriff.

Kanji froze in place, not quite for of what to do. He had expected her to thank him, yes. Throw her arms around him and bury her face into his sternum, not so much. She finally pulled away and looked up, eyes still watery and a large thankful smile on her face. Kanji was sure his face was perfectly set up for a Candid Camera shoot about now.

Belatedly, Naoto seem to realize the astoundingly close proximity between the two, and gasped before pulling away, reaching down to scoop up her hat, placing it back atop her head and miserably failing at giving an even toned reply, "Ah—um, sorry about that. I—uh got a bit too…err… " Naoto bowed, "Thank you very much Kanji-kun!" And dashed like an Olympic sprinter, face red enough to be seen from a plane.

Kanji stood for an extra second, heart hammering at his ribcage and cheeks painted red. A slow wide grin formed on his face when a voice spoke beside him, "You are definitely getting laid, bro." Kanji stopped and glared at the person next to him, none other than Yosuke. "What?"

Chie and Yukiko had been walking back to the classroom when a voice shouted, "OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

Silence reigned and Chie turned to Yukiko, "What the hell was that?" Yukiko raised her arms to show her lack of knowledge. Chie glanced up and spotted Naoto, power walking and clutching her hat in both hands to her chest.

Yukiko spoke up, "Oh, Naoto-kun. When'd you get your hat back?"

Naoto skidded to halt and shrieked, "Nothing happened!" before she bolted. The pair saw Kanji go sauntering by whistling an upbeat tune. A second after that, Yosuke came limping down from the roof, eyes wide and mumbling something to himself. Chie could not hear him properly, but she was sure she heard the word "thirty-five" in there.

Chie looked to Yukiko questioningly, "Did something happen?"

* * *

Conclusions are not my forte, as hopefully you could not tell. Despite this particular chapter being a stand-alone, I intend to continue this in some way, shape, or form. Gotta love the KanjixNaoto goodness. I'm not one to use Japanese honorifics in english writting, it seems kinda... geeky, but being that they use them regularily throughout the game, I see it more as preserving the natural diction of the characters. Reviews are appreciated, flames are accepted, but if you go too far I'll be permanently damaged and my self-esteem with crash, and it'll all be your fault. And please, if do leave criticisms, have them be about my writing style and not my pairing preferences. Thank you for your cooperation, I'm gonna go get some animal crackers.

By the way, to my fellow dudes out there: if you can sew and cook, women will fight for you. No joke.

Edit: Yikes, I read a couple of reviews and I saw people saying stuff like "Kanji doesn't treat MC like that." I was really confused, 'cause as far as I knew Souji really only had one line in this, when I realized I had accidentally put "Souji" in the place of "Yosuke" a bunch of times. I really dropped the ball there... sorry. Hopefully since Yosuke is the one being Kanji's tormentor it makes the interaction seem more reasonable, 'cause I'll bet Kanji would be more apt to kick Yosuke's ass than Souji's. Big apologies everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

Ah, sick days: mankinds greatest double-edged sword. Five days stuck in bed, reading books you've already read, somehow freezing cold despite the fact that you're burning with fever. Gotta love it... On the other hand, you get plenty of time to sit back on work on things you don't normally get a chance too. Being that this was written in a fever-induced haze, I made a good few mistakes in the first draft. Luckily, I'm a pretty damn good proofreader (read spell/grammar-check-button-clicker) so the only kinks that remain are within dialogue, so they hold no weight otherwise.

I kinda delved into my sappy side for this chapter, being that the last one was pretty much actionless, and more orientated on friendship. So that in mind, beware, for heterosexual things will be happening. Just to stroke my ego, a few shouts to my reviewers:

Roxius: To have the KING of crack-pairings and comedy not only complement me, but find inspiration from me. Freakin' awesome bro, glad I could brighten your day.

Hapax Legomenon: I'd assume that the fabric would probably get screwed up, but I don't know too well. Thing is I "can" sew, but it's not like I do it for a living, so I don't know the finer aspects. I tend to sew jeans and things of more durable material, so I'm not sure what it would be like for more cloth-like items. I'll leave that to the specialists. Besides, it's fantasy anyway, the laws of the universe can bebent to my crazy will. Otherwise, thanks for the review.

Darkforce222: Being that a majority of your complaint was based on an error, I'm forced to kinda turn away from it. As for my revving up of Kanji's intelligence, I really just played that to the degree I did to try and keep the story rolling... it would've been boring if he stopped to stammer and say non-important things every ten seconds. If you so desire (and if you're even still checking this out) feel free to read this chapter, in which I've avoided the faux pas that screwed the last up, and see if my characterization is more on the dot. Thanks anyway though, at least you read it and took time to speak of it.

Tekirai-chan: You commented, that's all I ask. Fangirl raves are accepted if they cater to my arrogance.

NeoChick: Thanks for catching the one "Souji" that I missed. Mega points for you.

Many others reviewed, and I thank you all, but if I keep this going I'll make this chapter twice as long as it was, so let's get the ball rolling.

I suppose stating that I have no claim to any characters/places/terms related to Persona 4 is pretty much obligatory now... though I really doubt there are lawyers just trolling about looking for people who goofed up. Oh well, might as well. Atlus owns them, no suing. And since I'm throwing out random thoughts, anyone wanna help me rig the next World Series? I'd really like to see the Cubs win for once... 1908 forever...

* * *

In the entirety of history, multiple grave misfortunes have befallen mankind. And since then, the greatest of minds have only managed to find one single phrase that accurately sums up the general feeling of the person in question: why me? And this was the exact question that Kanji Tatsumi had asked when his senpai had presented him with what was a guaranteed suicide mission.

Souji asked again, eyes pleading, "There's no way we can deal with that again, you have to go with them!" Kanji pinched himself, just to be sure he was not dreaming. He wished he could truthfully say that Souji freaked out like this a lot, but that would be a total lie.

Yosuke threw his bits in, "Look man, if I would've known that _they_ would get stuck with the task, I would have never, _ever,_ suggested drawing straws to see who cooked dinner!"

Kanji stammered, "But, why me?" In an unfortunate turn of events, Dojima was stuck at work, and had asked Souji if he could make dinner for Nanako. Somehow, this ballooned into the whole group getting together for dinner, and Souji did not have the materials or the inclination to make all that food. So in a moment of horrendous judgment, Yosuke suggested the drawing of straws. Eight straws, four of them colored red, four colored blue. Those who drew the blue straws were safe; those who took the red were doomed to culinary purgatory. Why they had the terrible misfortune of the girls picking all the red straws, nobody could tell.

Souji put a hand on his shoulder, "I believe in you, that's why."

"You just don't wanna go yourself," Kanji stated bluntly.

"That too," he admitted.

Kanji shook his head, "Gotta admire that honesty, senpai. But seriously, what possible help could I be? It's not like I can cook or anything."

Yosuke stepped up, "That doesn't matter. Even if the best you can do is making a plate of crappy food, that's infinitely better than that Mystery Food X!" Tears had begun to spring from the corners of his eyes, and Kanji was seriously ready to run like a Supreme Hand that just got bitch-slapped by a Megidolaon.

Souji joined in Yosuke's cajoling, "I never asked much of you, but our lives are at stake here. If you can just sabotage their abominable creation, you'd be a saint forever."

Kanji grimaced, severely put off by the sudden change in their demeanor, "Okay, fine! I'll do my best, senpai."

Yosuke threw himself at Kanji's feet, "Thank you! I'll never forget you Kanji! I'll name my first son after you!" The mental image of little Hanamuras almost made Kanji cry in fear.

Souji bowed to his friend, "I will be forever grateful." Kanji nodded before turning and exiting the Dojima residence. Yosuke stood up and looked at Souji, who sighed dejectedly, "Who are we kidding? We're screwed." Yosuke could only nod.

By the time Kanji had caught up to the girls, who had left after receiving their task and were vocally brainstorming ideas for dinner, they had already managed to get nearly halfway to Junes. Yukiko, who stopped mid-conversation to speak to the newcomer, said aloud, "Kanji-kun? Why are you here?"

Kanji skid to a halt, _Oh damn, I should've though up an excuse before I got here._ Kanji stammered for a second, "Uh. Senpai's got some things he's… uh… what's the word? Allergic? Yeah, he's allergic to some things, so he asked me come along."

Naoto raised a questioning eyebrow, "So why did senpai ask you to come along, rather than come along himself?"

Kanji swore mentally, _Damn, there's no winning with her_, before speaking, "He's playing Chinese Checkers with Nanako and Yosuke." _You gotta love my moments of genius._

Chie giggled, "Big bro's hard at work eh? Alright, fine with me, you can carry the bags." And with that said, the girls pivoted and resumed walking. Naoto appeared unconvinced but followed anyway.

Up ahead, the conversation was resumed, "So what are we making? How about chicken-fried steak?"

Rise groaned, "Please senpai, no steak. I start my idol job again next spring, and if I gain any weight, my producer will have a stroke." Chie stared downtrodden at the ground.

Yukiko turned her head back, "Kanji-kun, do you have any ideas?" Kanji had been too busy grumbling mentally at having been drafted into this quest. _If it were anyone but senpai…_

"Kanji-kun?" Rise asked.

…_I would have socked them in the jaw…_

"Kanji," Chie said.

…_Then kicked their ass into the Samegawa River!_

"Kanji-kun!" Naoto forcefully stated.

Kanji jerked from his revelry, "Huh? What?"

Naoto queried slowly, "Do you have anything you would like for dinner?"

Kanji felt his face heat up, embarrassed at having been caught so out of the loop, "Um. Well my mom was watching this cooking show, and this guy made some hot-and-sour soup that looked pretty good." Kanji gasped, _Oh shit, if they couldn't get curry right then they'll… damn it, I should've said tofu, just plain tofu! Argh! It's too late!_

Chie rubbed her chin in thought, "Hot-and-sour soup huh? Sounds great! You're the man Kanji!" The others agreed, and stepped with newfound vigor to Junes.

Kanji sighed and dug out his phone, dialing Souji's number. When Souji answered, the former delinquent could only groan in defeat, "Mission failed, senpai."

Souji sighed on the other end, "I'll have to go to the pharmacy and pick up some antacids then?"

Kanji replied, "You might as well bring a knife to a gunfight, senpai."

The fear built in staggering leaps as Kanji trudged ever closer to the produce section of Junes. The aisles of fresh vegetables and fruits, once an inviting sight to one who sought to find quality food at budget prices, now loomed over him with the terrorizing appeal of gibbets, housing old corpses picked clean by hungry ravens. Ahead of him Rise was asking Chie, "So what kind of peppers should we use?"

The brunette tapped a finger to her chin, "I hear habañero peppers are good, and they've supposedly got a really exotic taste."

Yukiko looked at her friends, "Aren't they really hot though?"

Rise smiled, "Well it is HOT-and-sour soup, so if the peppers are hot, we just need to balance them with extra sour. Now what could we add that's sour?"

Yukiko pointed to the canned goods section, "There's a good bargain on persimmon juice, that would match what we need." Kanji could feel his stomach readying for evacuation.

Chie threw up her hand to garner attention, "Oh, we need something sweet too right? It adds to the flavor."

Rise nodded, "Molasses would do the trick, plus it would thicken the soup up." Kanji thought to himself, _I'm pretty sure you don't thicken hot-and-sour soup. But since you're so intent on killing us anyway, go right ahead._

Chie shook her head, "Wouldn't that thicken it a bit too much? Maybe we should try maple syrup."

Kanji's fear got the better of him and he stepped up, waving his arms slightly, "Whoa! Uh, maybe we should consider appetizers or something. You guys ever try saganaki?"

Rise scratched her head, "Huh? What's that?"

Kanji stammered, "Uh, Greek food, my mom made it once. It's fried cheese. They sell really good pre-made ones at the European food shop down a ways…" _I really hope they fall for that._

Yukiko smiled, "You're full of great ideas today Kanji-kun. Let's go see if we can find some, there might be other things we want to get." With that, they raced off out of the produce department.

Kanji sighed turning to walk away from the suddenly huge and empty department store, when something collided with his chest. He looked downward and caught a glimpse of a familiar blue hat, smashed down against the face of its wearer, who mumbled incoherently, "Mmph mmm mmph mmphmm…"

Kanji back away with a jolt and gave Naoto room to readjust her hat. "Uh, sorry there Naoto," he stuttered, _Damn that tickled._ Naoto rubbed her nose, which looked slightly flatter than before. Kanji scratched his head and asked, "So, um… what did you say?"

The short girl put her hand at her side and said, "I said that you're an awful liar. I know for a fact that the European store here doesn't sell saganaki. For that matter, there is no European store in Junes at all."

Kanji gasped, _No winning with her_. "Look I didn't do it 'cause I was being mean or nothing, I just—"

Naoto interrupted, "Senpai sent you, did he not?" Kanji was taken aback, and she continued, "It doesn't take an exemplary detective to deduce that between the three of them, there's the culinary prowess of a cicada."

Kanji whistled, "Damn, I wasn't even the object of that insult and I still feel hurt. You got skill."

Naoto smiled, "Nevertheless, the task now falls upon us to forage for an acceptable meal, yes?"

Kanji spoke, "Huh? Are you serious?"

Naoto shrugged, "Whether or not the task belongs to them or us, we do need food." Kanji shrugged, she had a point. Walking away from Kanji she stepped up to a shelf and said, "Luckily for you, I happen to have viewed the same program that you did, and I remember the recipe quite well."

Kanji queried, "You cook?"

Naoto flushed slightly, rubbing the back of her neck and saying, "Ah, well no. But I occasionally watch the program if it's interesting. I suppose I could cook if I devoted the time to perfecting my technique, but I lack the needed patience in that area." Kanji gave a snort of laughter, to which Naoto appeared to take slight offence, "What is so funny?"

Kanji held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, "I just had a mental image of you in an apron standing in front of a stove, interrogating a pot to find out why it wouldn't boil."

Naoto pouted uncharacteristically, "If you're quite done, the first thing we need is Cloud Ear fungus." Naoto spotted the required item on the top shelf and reached for it. To her dismay, her outstretched fingers stopped a full few inches short of the canister. Even standing upon the tips of her toes, she fell far short of her goal. "Kanji-kun…" she sighed, her expression miffed and cheeks smeared pink.

Kanji would have liked to laugh at her, but he was too afraid his inner softy would jump into his words and cry out at the cuteness of it. _I need to do some manly stuff for a while_, he resigned to himself. He merely smirked gently and plucked the canister off the shelf, handing it Naoto, who threw it into the cart and mumbled a grudging, "Thanks."

"Any time," he replied. Their moment over, the pair set about gathering the multitude of ingredients for their supper. _The hell are dried lily buds doing in a soup?_ After traipsing back and forth across the store a multitude of times, they finally acquired all the items needed, and after Kanji paid (Naoto having conveniently "left her wallet behind," which he was pretty sure was her way of sticking it to him for the prior embarrassment) they were on their way out, large paper bag tucked into Kanji's arm.

"You got some 'splaining to do!" a voice shouted behind Kanji. Beads of sweat formed on his brow, _Uh oh, I forgot about them…_ The two whirled about to face their three missing compatriots.

Rise's countenance was clearly discernable to all with a single brain cell: she was pissed. Her voice mingled between a growl and a bark, "You mind telling us why you sent us to a store that doesn't even exist."

Kanji's mind raced, _Okay, random moment of genius please… please?_ His mind kept drawing blanks, when his diminutive savior opened her mouth, "Unfortunately, as Kanji told me less than fifteen seconds after you rushed off, the store closed three weeks ago. I'm afraid you simply left too quickly for us to relay the news to you."

Kanji nodded in agreement, albeit a little more rushed than regular nodding, "Sorry, I completely forgot." _God I owe her big time…_

Rise's glared softened, "Oh, I'm sorry." She smiled then, "But that doesn't change the fact that you sent us on a wild goose chase, so you get the honor of doing the cooking, Kanji."

"What?" he shouted in a dumbfounded tone.

Naoto had the indecency to snicker at his misfortune, saying tauntingly, "Perhaps this'll teach you to verify your facts before speaking. Eh, Kanji-kun?" Kanji's eyes narrowed, _if I still thought you were a dude, I'd kick your tiny ass right now…_

"You help him," Chie stated. Naoto's cheeky smirk slid off like oil on silk. It was Kanji's turn to smile. _Score!_

Naoto said her words forcefully, "What did I do?"

Chie waged her finger, "The simple fact of the matter is, whether you did so intentionally or not, you ditched us."

At that moment, a thought seemed to have slapped Yukiko across the face, for a after a second of a surprised look, her eyes narrowed slyly and a frightening grin spread on her face. "Ah, but girls," she said informatively, "You don't seem to grasp the true magnitude of this."

Question marks dance around everyone's heads as Rise questioned, "Uh, what do you mean Yukiko-senpai?"

Yukiko giggled, "Naoto," she pointed at the object of her statement, "ditched us," she passed her finger over the trio, "to hang out," she pointed her finger upward, "with a boy," and her finger fell to rest on Kanji. The statement took a few seconds to register, before Kanji and Naoto cast a glance at each other, eyes wide and faces hot.

Chie grasped her stomach as she laughed aloud, "Oh my God, you're right Yukiko. She ditched us to go on a date!"

Rise squealed in delight, "I'm so proud of you Naoto, taking the steps to becoming a mature woman! So, how was it, did you do anything 'exciting?'"

The petite girl stammered, her whole face stained red enough to blend in with the red of Yukiko's headband, "Wh-wh-what? 'Exciting?' Just what are you implying?" She huffed, "Unless you count procuring foodstuffs as 'exciting,' then no, nothing exciting happened. Right Kanji?" Silence… "Kanji?"

The pale-haired man stood in place, bag of groceries set on the ground next to him, arms crossed with his head down in a pensive visage. He spoke slowly, as if he were deducing something to himself, "Naoto reaches for the can, too short she stretches farther… the ends of her pants ride up, and I can see smooth, slim ankles."

The four girls went dead silent, Naoto growing even redder, "Kanji… what are you thinking about?"

He continued, "She still can't reach, so she stretches even more, and I can see the curve of her spine, leaning away from her hips…"

Naoto's redness somehow amplified, "Kanji-kun?"

Chie waved a hand, "Shush! It's getting interesting."

Kanji's monologue resumed, "She makes one last effort, this time thrusting her backside out to reach even more forward, making those curves all the more visible…"

Naoto's voice now reached a pitch a dog would have strained to hear, "Kanji…" The other three leaned even closer.

"She gives up and sinks back into her normal stance, pouting adorably. Her lips, soft and pink stand out against smooth pale skin and silky hair… and I…"

Naoto had given up words in favor of stammering gibberish, Yukiko spoke, "And you… what Kanji?"

He swallowed, "I liked it… I really liked it…" He nodded to himself, "I genuinely liked it." The three girls who were not babbling quietly cooed in a mushy combination of sweetness and estrogen. Kanji looked up, "My doubts have been cleared."

Naoto managed one final word, "Kanji…"

The flaxen man snapped back into reality, glancing about him in confusion. "Huh? Did I say somethin'?" He looked at the group he was with. Chie, Yukiko, and Rise had stars in their eyes, and Naoto had pulled her hat over her face; however, Kanji could see from the sliver of her face that was still visible that so much blood had gone to her face that she appeared to wobble on her legs.

Kanji's cheeks reddened, and he attempted to casually return the bag to his arms as he said, "Uh, on second thought… this is probably one of those things I'd rather let remain a mystery."

Yukiko nudged him, "Are you sure about that, Kanji? You said some very… 'personal' things just now."

Kanji's eyes narrowed and he said pointedly, "Score a hot stud."

Yukiko ground her teeth, "No one's ever going to drop that, are they?"

Kanji shrugged, "Not unless Teddie up and croaks…"

Yukiko's eyes narrowed, and she swiped the bag from Kanji's hands quicker than he could see, "If that's the case, please, allow me to do the cooking." And she stormed off, Rise and Chie hot on her trail.

Kanji scratched his head before looking at his petite friend, "Uh, I dunno what I said, but if it was embarrassing, I'm sorry."

Naoto's blood seemed to have returned to its place, "Ah, no worries. You weren't thinking straight at the time. It doesn't matter to me what you think of my ankles." Naoto realized what she said and clamped her mouth shut, throwing her hands over her lips with her eyes widening and glancing in his direction.

Kanji seemed five shades paler than usual, "Wh-what? I think I wanna know what I said now!"

Naoto chuckled sheepishly before taking off a sprint so fast she stumbled over her feet, intent on avoiding an assuredly awkward conversation. Kanji, having much longer legs, managed to stay just behind her despite the frantic pace of her short appendages. "Naoto!" he cried frantically, "Answer me! What did I say?"

The blue-haired girl shook her head fiercely, turning her head down and continuing to run, "Nothing that concerns you!"

Kanji shouted after her, "Yeah, right! I think this concerns me quite a bit!"

Naoto appeared to have tuned him out, her hands over her ears to drown out foreign noises as she repeated herself, "He didn't say that, he didn't say that. He didn't say that! And I was _not_ flattered!" Desperation swelled in Kanji's brain as he heard this, and the speed of his stride increased.

A sprint across Inaba later, and Naoto could see the door of the Dojima residence just ahead of her. It was at this moment, however, that Kanji gained the final iota of space he needed to hook his hand over Naoto's shoulder and pull her to a stop. Sadly, momentum has this thing about being there when one wants it least. And so the two bodies went stumbling, semi-skidding on the walkway up to the house.

Another unfortunate thing is the tendency of people stuck in awkward romantic moments to fall into rather peculiar positions, regardless of the nigh impossibility of actually landing in such positions otherwise. And just their luck that this law would hold true as well, as Kanji landed over the small girl. His slightly parted legs laid flat on the ground, so that the joining of his pelvis and abdomen rested in the crook of her spread legs, faces just far enough away for them to make out distinctive features. Her hat had fallen away to allow her hair to splay out behind her, and the sweat accumulated from the dash had prompted his hair to come slightly free of its swept style, causing stray locks to fall into his face.

Kanji gulped as their breath began to mingle, and soon her could even taste the hint of peppermint that lingered from her toothpaste. He knew not whether his head moved down, or hers up, or both, but soon their lips were close enough that he could feel her body heat radiating through the thin skin of her lips onto his.

A last moment of hesitation wracked his before his conscious made its decision: _Do or die._ Resolve mustered, Kanji closed the final centimeters between them, meshing his warm and rough lips against her cool and supple lips. Out of shear desperation, Kanji had kept his eyes open, looking for any hint of anger to signal that he should cease what he was doing. Naoto's eyes widened before, after a moment, fluttering closed as she leaned into him. Kanji's confidence soared, and he too closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulged, satiating the thirst that had plagued him since their first encountering.

Neither of them seemed to notice the artificial light that suddenly washed over them. "Whoa! S-sorry!" Someone shouted. The pair separated to glance at the open door, a very flustered and very red Chie standing there. Fortune still not satisfied with their torture, the rest of their gang showed up, only to have their jaws clang off the ground.

Souji saw their position and gasped, turning Nanako around and saying, "Go to your room. No questions! Go!"

Rise seemed to find some hilarity to the situation, "Wow, you really called it Yukiko-senpai!"

Yukiko stuttered, "Um… so I did. I didn't actually think that…"

Teddie raised his arms in a cheering fashion, "Whoo! I never Kanji-kun was such a playa!"

Yosuke growled at the bear-turned-human, "You don't even know what that means."

Souji turned back, face slightly red, "But c'mon guys, have some decency. I mean… on the front lawn?"

Only now had Naoto seemed to realize that they were still in their dubious position, when she let out a shriek and pulled her leg in before thrusting it out landing a kick to Kanji's weak spot. Kanji flew off of her, nearly ten feet into the air before he crashed back onto the ground with a high-pitched groan, curling into a defensive ball. Naoto stood up quickly, grabbing her hat and wringing it in her hands, face beet red and stammering horribly, "We-we were j-j-just, um… uh. T-t-time to make dinner!" And with that she ran into the house, nearly bowling over the occupants of the doorway.

The others, too put off by the stifling aura, turned and reentered the edifice. Souji stepped out and stood over Kanji, who was curled so tightly his back seemed it would snap inward. Souji put a hand on Kanji's shoulder, "Kanji? Are you alright?"

The pale haired boy rolled onto his back, relaxing his curled body and whining into the cool night:

"Why me?"

* * *

Yeah, I know, that was mean of me. But you should realize that making out on your friend's lawn gets you caught. I know that Kanji's "poet" moment is more of a Teddie-esque thing to do, but it's for comedy, so I really can't bring myself to care. Great news though: I managed to make sure that the right character was talking, so as to avoid serious unintended character flaws.

If you've never had saganaki, it's really good if you find a good Greek restaraunt to get it from. I really have no idea where it came from, but I drew a good number of blanks in trying to get our beloved stammering delinquent and half-pint detective alone, so decided to just ype and see where it ended up. Not too bad I don't think, but you can probably tell that I wrote that section with a bit of awkwardness.

Don't know what'll be up next... but I hope you liked this chapter. See you all next time.


	3. Chapter 3

Ah man, I feel like a huge jerk. I practically abandoned you guys for like... four and a half months. Huge sorries, but it was just one thing after another eating up time I would have liked to use otherwise. Thankfully, things have started to kind of cool down, so I'm spending less time screaming in frustration and throwing stuff at the neighbor-kids and more time working on old projects that got swept under the rug. Luckily for you guys, this is one such project. Unluckily for you guys, someone done stole my muse! Seriously, I nearly bashed my brains out trying to get this written, and even then I'm not entirely satisfied with the end product. Jeez... if this keeps up I'll have to start taking requests...

Well, my distinct lack of creativity aside, you're finally getting what you've all been waiting for. Just remember, all hereinafter mentioned characters/places/terms relative to Person 4 are the express property of Atlus... so yeah, you all heard it, I'm officially lawsuit proof.

* * *

As far as Kanji was concerned, he should not have been enjoying this as much as he was. First of all, what he was doing bordered on stalking, which was not cool. Second, by all rights he should be in class right now, but he did not have the patience to sit through Kashiwagi talking about various uninteresting subjects (and it certainly did not help that she always seemed to be eyeing him like a piece of meat at a butcher store).

What was he doing? To be concise, he was leaning against the outside of the school building, watching the girls drag themselves through physical education. More to the point, he was trying very hard to not coo at the adorable image of Naoto struggling with a small metal ball. _It's just so damn cute…_

Track and field was one of those things that the participant either loved or hated, and judging by what Kanji could see, as unfocused and hard to make out as it was, Naoto was evidently of the latter. Although the usage of the adjective "delicate" might prompt Naoto into aggression (and Kanji knew more than enough that being pistol-whipped, no matter how weak the hand doing said action was, hurt like hell), it seemed a rather proper summary of her, at least in the physical sense. Despite Naoto's masculine speech and brazen methods, she did not seem to understand that when one is just barely five feet tall, and weighing perhaps a hundred pounds when soaking wet, that they are not the most physically intimidating of persons.

But that stubborn streak of hers always caused her to leap into the fray, not caring that her abysmal failure was all but spelled out, nor that her ego was preparing for a serious bruising. Not that Kanji was complaining, his confusion over his attraction to the girl aside, even Kanji could admit that Naoto had many moments were she made for great laughs. Case in point, Naoto should have been smart enough to know that, given the thinness of her arms and the small size of her hands, that a twelve pound shot-put was far more than she would be able to manage. Yet, again still too stubborn to bow down to base physiology, she seemed to find that launching said orb, which was bigger than both her fists combined, was perfectly within her limits. No such surprise then, when it took Naoto the equivalent effort of bench-pressing a locomotive to launch the ball the mere four or five feet it went.

Kanji wished for a moment that he had not been preoccupied with shoving his thumb up his nose, which had begun to bleed at a rather impressive rate upon seeing Naoto's gym shirt ride up to her ribs from the movement, because he was sure the entire ensemble was side-splitting to the degree that it was nigh criminal. He had to hand it Naoto though; she did not even tilt her head down in shame when walking to the end of the line to stand with Rise. Kanji mentally ticked a checkmark into the box labeled "Times Yosuke's Been Right". _She's definitely got balls…_ Kanji agreed.

Kanji had been too busy trying to dab the blood away from his nose to realize that Naoto was making a beeline for him, and by the time he realized, she had been hardly four feet away, tapping her foot as she looked down at him with one eyebrow slightly raised. Her crisp voice cut into Kanji ruminations, "Aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

Kanji could not be certain to what extent the hyperbole held true, but it certainly felt like he had jumped a full mile into the air. Putting a hand to his heart, which was beating hard enough he was worried his sternum might burst outward, he said with a shaky voice, "Oh… Naoto… Wh-what's up?"

Naoto crossed her arms, the action pulling the top of her slightly sweat-drenched shirt down across her chest, which, even tied down as was her fashion, was still enough that Kanji felt his throat go rather dry. She said pointedly, "I should think that obvious, I'm in gym class right now. You, on the other hand should not be here."

Something about her tone seemed off, that much was evident to even one with such limited deductive skills as Kanji. She sounded forceful, but etched into her words was an unintended slip of pleading. Unwise to the reasons, but not wanting to alienate the girl, he began a stuttered apology, "I'm sorry, I just…"

Naoto was preparing what was assuredly a scolding remark, when Mr. Kondo called from the track, "Yo, Shirogane!" Her head whipped around to face the teacher, who shouted in his ever-jovial voice, "Stop flirtin' with Tatsumi, you're up on the javelin toss!"

Kanji's heart gave one powerful pump and sat silent for the stretch of maybe five seconds before it regained function, and Naoto's eyes widened to an increment that made him wonder how her grayish orbs stayed inside her head. The girl grumbled quietly, "That's highly inappropriate for a teacher to say…" She turned back to Kanji, huffing indignantly with a splash of red on her face, "Good day to you, Kanji-kun."

With that said, she spun about on her heel and marched off, head slightly turned down. Kanji stood still for at least another minute before asking himself, "What the hell was that?" _Naoto doesn't get flustered like that? Was it something I did?_

Sufficiently put off, Kanji seemed to think it a better option to wait out what remained of the class period hanging out in the bathroom. He was immersed in a game on his cell phone, trying to navigate a four-squared box into a nook amongst other shapes, when he heard the bell ring, signaling the end of the academic tyranny of school. As he stepped out, the first person that had the fortune (or misfortune depending on their angle) to bump into him was none other than the team's resident half-pint detective.

Still a little shaky after what happened not too long ago, Kanji's greeting was less than eloquent, "'Sup Naoto?"

Kanji had not expected any sort of lengthy response, conciseness was much more Naoto's style, but when she merely cast a quick glare at him before turning her head away and walking off with a mumbled, "Hi" he quite nearly flinched in surprise.

_What the hell?_ Kanji stood puzzled for moment when Souji nearly materialized next to him, "Ah, how are you Kanji?"

Kanji jolted in surprise, "Jeez, don't do that, senpai." He looked to his gray-haired friend, "Hey senpai, do y'mind if I ask you something?"

Souji nodded, "I'll answer you if I can, sure."

Kanji crossed his arms, thinking of how to express himself, "Um. If a girl, who normally at least somewhat talks to you, suddenly starts blowing you off, what does that mean?"

Souji's eyes grew dim, and the soft encouraging smile he offered Kanji slackened before disappearing like a pebble into the sea. His voice was dreary and solemn as he said, "Kanji, I pride myself on being a rather smart person. Calculus and algebra? Simple. Grammar and linguistics? No issue at all. I could explain every little detail of your circulatory system from left ventricle all the way back to the right atrium." He sighed, closing his eyes and saying, "But explaining why in the hell women do _anything_ they do," he opened his dull gray orbs at looked straight at Kanji, "That's going to take a man far smarter than I am."

Kanji's eyes were wide with shock. _What the hell can you say to that?_ He spoke, "Well, thanks anyway, senpai." Souji nodded and proceeded about his routine. Kanji stood in pensive silence for another minute, before he realized that he had been standing around silently a lot so far, and set off home.

Once in the comfortable confines of his room, where he sat restitching the seams on his favorite skull-emblazoned shirt, he began to mull over his course of action. "This is gonna drive me insane… stupid field and track, stupid school," he mumbled, "Stupid Naoto for that matter. Why must chicks be so friggin' complicated?" He continued to grumble until he realized he had lost focus on his task and accidentally sewed his shirt to his pants.

Undoing the stitches, he began to ponder again, "What was that phrase Dad always said? Fight fire with fire?" He thought for a second, "So if I wanna understand what Naoto's thinking… I gotta ask another girl! But who to ask." Kanji put down his now complete shirt and put a hand to his chin in pensive thought, "I could ask Ma… but that'd be awkward as holy hell…" _Sup, Ma? Hey, you remember that skinny dude named Naoto who showed up a while ago? Well, yeah, turns out the dude's a chick, and I'd really like to hit that, but I kinda freaked her out. Any suggestions?_

Just then he heard his mother call from downstairs, "Kanji! I'm going to go get some tofu for tonight's dinner, I'll be back in a little while."

"'Kay Ma!" he shouted back. Suddenly his head perked up, "What a minute, tofu? Rise!" He leaped to his feet and raced downstairs where he caught his mother at the door, "Wait a minute, I'll go, Ma. I gotta ask Rise about something anyway."

His mother smiled, "Thank you Kanji, you're a good kid you know that?" Kanji grumbled in response, but the elderly lady merely chuckled, "The order's already placed, so just pick it up and come back."

Kanji nodded and headed out the door, walking in a hurried pace to the Marukyu Tofu Shop, intent on milking as much information out of Rise as he could. Kanji was remotely thankful that he lived such a close distance to the shop, for he arrived promptly, only to be greeted by the idol-turned-schoolgirl. Rise spoke cheerfully, "Oh, hi Kanji-kun! Got your mother's order ready, just a sec."

Kanji replied hurriedly, "Yeah, yeah, that's nice. Look, can I talk to you for a second… privately?"

Rise giggled, "Ooh, Kanji… I never knew you felt that way…"

Kanji returned temperamentally, "Don't make this difficult."

The girl smiled, calling to her grandmother, "Gonna take a quick break, be back soon." She and Kanji exited through the back of the shop to speak in the quiet, empty backyard. "So, what's up?"

Kanji said, "Um. Has Naoto said anything about me?"

Rise tilted her head, "Is this about what happened in gym? She didn't really talk about it, so I'm not sure." She fixed him with a quizzical gaze, "Why? What happened?"

Kanji gave her the rundown, omitting a few details such as the exposed skin and nosebleed, concluding with, "…and since that happened, she got really weird, kinda making up excuses to get away from me. So… what's up with that?"

Rise giggled, "Oh Kanji, you've got a lot to learn about women." Kanji's expression turned miffed. Rise continued, "This is just Naoto expressing her inner female. She's subtly doing one of those things only women can do…"

Question marks popped up around Kanji's head, "She doing laundry?" A quick slap across his face ended that discussion, "Ow!"

Rise sighed, "Let's try this another way." She hummed in thought for a moment before asking, "Does Naoto really act like a typical girl her age?"

Kanji answer was quick, "No."

Rise continued, "But she _is_ a girl right?"

"No question," was Kanji's reply.

Rise began again, gesticulating informatively, "Then it should only make sense that, despite her tomboyish attitude, that still at least somewhat thinks like a girl, yes? But unfortunately for Naoto, she's kinda dumb with anything other than detective work. You see her mental image of herself is a big, badass male detective. But what she can't seem to wrap her head around is that, for starters, she doesn't have a Y-chromosome, and that when she's only five feet tall and weighs perhaps a hundred pounds soaking wet, she's not a very intimidating figure."

Kanji smirked, "It's kinda funny, I thought the exact same thing today and—"

Rise cut him off, "Let's stay on track Kanji." Rise began again, slowly, "Piece these things together. Based on Naoto's usual mentality, we can guess a few things. One, Naoto doesn't like to appear weak, so she overdoes things and ends up looking rather like a dunce. Two, at least in her mind, you are the kind of person she wants to be: you're big, you're strong, and you can kick some serious ass. You're a rock star to her."

Kanji thought that over for a second: so Naoto wanted to be like him? The immediate result was a mental image of Naoto's head implanted on his body. Kanji barely stifled a combined snicker and gag. He said to Rise, "I guess I understand that."

Rise nodded, "So then, being that you are this iconic benchmark for her, she would try her best to impress you, consciously or not, right?" Kanji nodded, and Rise resumed her lecture, "She failed that, but now consider her womanly mindset. Here she is, a girl whose rather self conscious about herself, and a boy her age is watching her—"

"Who said I was watching her?" Kanji stammered indignantly

Rise sighed, "Right Kanji, 'cause obviously you're entirely uncaring about what woman you ogle. Can I please just finish?" Kanji nodded again, still flustered. "So now, in front of said boy, who also happens to be the object of her affections, make of that what you will, she fails to impress him. Both sides of her looked like a fool simultaneously, which means…"

Kanji questioningly began, "She's… embarrassed?"

Rise threw up her arms, "Yay! Kanji got it!"

The pale-haired youth shook his head, "I didn't think about that… I figured it did something to piss her off." He looked at Rise, "What do I do, Rise?"

Rise smiled sadly, "I'd say just be genial and try to comfort her, but she'd probably think you were talking down to her, so you'll have to be kinda abstract in your apology."

Kanji nodded, "I get it. Thanks Rise, I owe you a lot." He smiled, "You know, you're a lot smarter than you seem," His face fell, eyes widening in surprise, "I mean… shit, that didn't come out right."

Rise smiled, a tic forming in her jaw, "Just get your tofu and go home." Kanji did so, taking his purchase and hauling ass back to his house. While his mother began working with the tofu, he thought to himself about how he could make up with Naoto without seeming like an absolute moron. It took until he lay on the border of sleep and consciousness for him to figure it out, but after clearing the butterflies that formed in his stomach, he nodded to himself, resigned to carrying out the task.

*****

As Naoto stood at her shoe locker, she could not help but contemplate just how bad her day had been going thus far. She had incorrectly set her alarm clock, setting it for six o'clock post meridiem rather than six o'clock ante meridiem, causing her to rise from her slumber well-rested, yet with only half an hour to get to school. Thus, in her triaging of the importance of her daily routine, she had managed to bathe and brush her teeth, but had to skip breakfast, and only had time to pack a minuscule lunch.

Effectively, her whole day had been shoved into the garbage can, with the lid set on top and a half-ton weight holding it down. _At least that ridiculous track and field unit is over. What possible benefit could be garnered from such a pointless exercise? Although, the javelin toss might help in defeating Shadows. I should mention this to Souji-senpai._

She was caught up in her ruminations when Kanji strode up next to her, "Uh, hey Naoto?"

The girl turned her head to him, asking of him, "Yes, what is it Kanji-kun?" She was still a little angry with him after yesterday, but she had had sufficient time to cool off, and after the screwed up day she just had, she figured it would do her good to get her mind elsewhere.

The flaxen man looked down at her, which made Naoto all the more aggravated that she should be cursed to be vertically impaired her whole life. Kanji spoke, "Um, I was wondering if you could come with me for a sec. I… um… got something I need your help with."

Naoto's brown raised, Kanji appeared flushed and made several efforts to try and keep his focus elsewhere. It seemed rather odd that Kanji would have a request for her that was so far out of his comfort zone that he could not speak normally about it. Even if out of pure curiosity, Naoto accepted. "Very well, let's be off then."

Naoto had followed rather inattentively, and thus was surprised when she found herself alone with Kanji in the field. Even more so was she surprised Kanji ushered her into the center of the mass of rings used for shot put. She felt Kanji press something cool and round into her hand. "What is…" she started.

Kanji scratched his head, "It's a… ahem. A four-pound shot put." Naoto did not get it. Kanji moved up to her and spun her about, setting her so that she faced away from him, and settled himself so that his body was bent about her. Naoto nearly jumped out of her own skin, but the feeling of Kanji's hard and slightly bony chest against her back kept her rooted. She felt unreasonably small; seeing how Kanji was so scrunched up he appeared to be folding inward like a pressed accordion.

Kanji snaked his arms around her, grasping her hands and guiding them so that the hand with the shot put was held behind her, while the other was up with the elbow bent. Kanji said to her, breath tickling her ears and sending a cold shiver down her spine and warm flush to her face, "Uh… okay, hold the shot like so. Hold your other arm out to keep stable, now pull you feet apart to get a bit more balance." Naoto parted her legs slightly, but evidently not enough, for Kanji wedged his leg between Naoto's and pushed her back leg farther away from her front, which sent her body lower and brought his hips closer to hers.

Naoto just about shrieked and ran. _Doesn't he realize just how awkward this position is? _Kanji continued, voice slightly shakier than it had been, "N-Now sweep your feet around then… spin once or twice to build some power, then thrust your hand out and shove the ball away." He backed off, and Naoto found the amount of blood in her face increase as she mentally debated on whether she should indulge him or run like hell. "Okay, try it."

Naoto took a deep breath, spun about twice, and launched the metal orb with all her might. The ball soared decently before thumping to the ground; Kanji quickly turned his face, which was almost as red as hers, away from her and glanced at the rings, "Seven meters… Nice. Your um… arc was a little messed up, and you stumbled a bit, but other than that, not bad." Kanji scratched his head sheepishly, clearing his throat before grumbling a few extra nonsensical words and falling silent.

Naoto, for her part, tried to maintain her stoic countenance, which was an uphill battle with her face red enough to make Mars green with envy. The girl attempt to speak clearly, "Ah, I see… Th-then I'll have to practice more…"

Kanji opened with mouth a few times, no words escaping, before he turned his head away, face streaked with red, and said a little loudly, "Shit… Sorry!"

Naoto's eyes widened, "Kanji-kun?"

Kanji continued, "Here you are, all pissed at me, and I go do something as stupid as this. I must look like a huge prick."

Naoto stammered, "N-no not at all! It was very sweet of you Kanji-kun!"

Kanji gave her a weird look, "Sweet?"

The blue-haired girl balked, "Uh, wait, that wasn't the word I was looking for! I mean it was very…" Naoto glanced around, hoping there might be someone with a cue card, but found none and merely let her shoulders hang and she muttered in defeat, "Sweet…"

Naoto had expected Kanji to take offence at being referred to in such and "unmanly" way. But she would never have expected Kanji to unexpectedly envelope her in a bear hug and croon lovingly, "Sometimes you are just so adorable!"

The awkwardness of the moment seemed to have imparted itself belatedly, for Kanji released her with a jolted gasp and hopped a good ten feet back, "I mean, uh… shit, first I look like a jerk and now I just look like a moron."

Naoto replied with a smile, "That must mean everything's normal."

_Thanks for busting my chops, Naoto…_ Kanji looked back at her, "Not mad at me anymore?"

Naoto shook her head, "No. I apologize if I worried you. It was petty of me to get so angry over such a trifle matter."

Kanji gave her another anomalous look, "Angry? Dude, you nearly crucified me! I almost wet myself!"

Naoto glared, "Kanji Tatsumi, that is a rampant exaggeration and you know it!"

Kanji held out his arm defensively, "Ah! I'm sorry! But seriously, for such a shrimp, you're freakin' terrifying."

Naoto had begun to surmount another verbal counteroffensive when her stomach decided to announce its emptiness. Naoto quickly muffled her abdomen; turning her face away and muttering, "Don't talk about shrimp."

When she looked back at Kanji, he appeared to be trying to restrain himself with all his might, but he failed miserably. "So adorable…"

Naoto sighed, "You're a sadist."

Kanji walked up and patted her on the back, "C'mon, Aiya's is on me today." Naoto nodded, smiling lightly, and the two left the quiet school grounds. As they walked away, Kanji uttered one final phrase, "What's a sadist?"

* * *

A note to any who may have wondered: yes, I did track and field in high school; but I wasn't the go-to guy for shot-put. Hundred-meter dash, long jump, high jump, those were my areas of expertise. Please don't follow my coaching, you're likely to hurt yourself and look like a douche. Hopefully the next one will be a bit more... I don't know a word for it. I'll try and set a different tone for the next one, the last two have been abnormally fluffy. Maybe its time for a little perversion... or not, I don't freaking know. Hopefully, I'll avoid more of these crappy slumps and be more consistent with providing chapters.


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